What does heart-centred leadership mean in reality?

A story from my own past might illustrate this clearly.

Early in my adult life I had a job with a multinational corporation which was comprised of several divisions. Each of those divisions had a large degree of autonomy and a separate managing director, and the culture within each of those various parts of the organization was quite distinct. One of the divisions had a culture of employee development, so that employees were encouraged to contribute their thoughts, ideas and opinions, and generally given space and time to range as far beyond the limits of their job descriptions as they cared to go, albeit with management agreement. Nowadays we might call this the heart-centred division!

Another of the divisions had a culture based on a more directive style of management, where employees were selected for their commitment to getting a single job done. This was clearly a more autocratic style of leadership. One of the personnel officers explained to me that these employees were selected on the basis of having a slightly anxious personality, because this led to greater commitment and dedication to the work: a better attribute for the company but perhaps not so much for the employees themselves. To reduce costs the board of directors decided to merge these two culturally different divisions; the result was interesting to observe.

I joined this company just after the merger had taken place and right from the start I could see that there were two sides to the unified office in which everybody now had a desk: the employees from one division sat down one side of the room, and the employees from the other division sat down the opposite side of the room. Very few of them spoke to each other, and indeed very few of them seemed to like each other. This merger had not produced a meeting of minds; it had produced an office riven with hostility and disrespect for each other’s style of working. And no one wanted to change their individual style, even when encouraged and given the opportunity to do so.

What I observed was that while the leaders’ aspiration to give people the opportunity to develop their full potential was well-meaning, this apparently wasn’t an opportunity which many of their employees welcomed or accepted. Indeed, many of them had very prescribed views about what they wanted to be responsible for, and they didn’t wish to extend themselves beyond those limits. In seeking to offer opportunities for self-development to all, what had been overlooked was perhaps most important: what the people of this particular kingdom actually wanted.

I mention this only because although the aspirations of heart-centred leadership can be noble and unquestionably altruistic, it takes a wise Sovereign to discern which approach to leadership or kingship is most appropriate with any particular group of people at any particular time.

Interestingly, this particular situation was resolved by the introduction of a new manager in the department, who did indeed embody many of the qualities of heart-centred leadership and who, in his own quiet way, was able to bring about change using a subtle combination of direction and consultation.

After a couple of years working under this leader, the atmosphere in the office had changed completely, and it would be fair to say that the disparate groups of people had been melded into one group working with a common aim and a single focus. In achieving this transformation, the departmental manager had embodied, to my mind, all the qualities of a compassionate yet focused King archetype, able to bring about his positive vision by respecting the people in his kingdom and taking time to gradually and gently guide them towards a new way of seeing things.

King Archetype Podcast 

This brings us back to the question of why heart-centred leadership, rather than a more autocratic approach, might be an advantage in any situation. One reason is that heart-centred leadership seems to have a positive effect on the emotional health of both the leader and those for whom he has some responsibility. I believe this is because a true heart- centred leader accesses and draws upon resources that go far beyond himself. After all, the Sovereign archetype, the one the heart-centred leader embodies, is the archetype which allows connection to the spiritual world, to something greater than oneself. But that is a point for later, not for now.

On a practical level, an effective heart-centred leader will seek to better understand what his followers want. Susan Steinbrecher observes that in an employer-employee relationship, “The heart-centred leader’s use of one-to-one communication can help him to understand the abilities, needs, desires, goals, and potential of the people. This nurturing attitude encourages his employees to adopt the same attitude towards their co- workers and makes the workplace a suitable environment for the growth of the employees, as well as the production of good quality work which will grow the organization.”

To put it more simply, treat others with respect and kindness and they will return the favour. And we can start, as Kings, by assuming that all human interactions will be more harmonious and productive when they are conducted from a position of respect. Of course, we are prepared for those occasions when this does not happen. More than anything, when we embody our King archetype, we are not downcast or despondent when things don’t follow our intentions or beliefs, for we stand strong in our self-worth, and we have the power to deal with such difficulties.

In the Healing the Shadow organization5 we view heart-centred leadership as a foundation stone of our community. Our approach is based on the concept of Unconditional Positive Regard (UPR), formulated by Carl Rogers as a therapeutic philosophy. In essence, while you may not like what someone is saying or doing, you can still see their fundamental humanity and appreciate that their human soul is something which deserves complete acceptance. But note the distinction between acceptance and liking: you don’t have to like, nor do you have to agree with, someone’s views and opinions to hold the person themselves in an attitude of UPR.

On an individual and broader level, the degree to which we did not experience UPR in childhood will have taken each of us away from a true understanding of who we really are, and into a morass of false beliefs about ourselves. We can call these false beliefs limiting beliefs, because that is precisely what they do: they limit us.

Common examples are: “I’m not good enough”; “I’m not wanted”; “I’m not loveable”; “I’m bad”; “I can only be myself if….”; “It’s not safe to be seen (or heard)”; “I don’t have a right to be here unless…”; “I’m weak and powerless”; “He is better/wiser/stronger/cleverer/more good-looking/sexier than me”; and so on. These beliefs – and a million and one variations of them – are usually not conscious, and we may well be unaware how they are impacting our progress in life until we start exploring the shadow bag in our unconscious mind.

By contrast, when a child is raised in a loving environment where UPR is the foundation stone of the parents’ or caregivers’ approach to parenting, a child will develop high self-esteem and a strong sense of self- worth which will allow them to step fully into their power later in life.

One final observation on the concept of heart-centred leadership: you may have realized that this concept, if embraced fully, does not allow for prejudice, whether that is intellectual, racial, religious, cultural, social, sexual, physical or gender-based. It is a philosophy which aspires to teach us that all human beings are created equal, and all are worthy of respect for their humanity, for who they are, even if you do not agree with their beliefs and cultural traditions – in other words, even if you do not like how they express their humanity.

As you read the words above, how do you feel?

 Think for a moment: did you routinely experience something approaching unconditional love when you were a child, or did you have to “perform”, work hard, or “be” something to get the love of those around you?

• And have those learned behaviours persisted into your adult life?
• Consider also the question of prejudice. Are there individuals, or religious, social or sexual minorities, whom you dislike, avoid, regard with suspicion, or worse, hate? How did you form your opinions about them?
• How might you become more compassionate and understanding towards those people or groups of people?
• To what degree can you claim that you live by the concept of heart-centred leadership?